A couple of four months ago, I posted a photograph of a discarded hot-pink sofa in the alley behind our apartment. Well, yesterday brought another interesting garbage photo-op: next to the dumpster was a seemingly brand new tan bidet complete with shiny chrome spigot (uncannily similar to the one shown here) that some unsophisticate removed from their domicile.

Unfortunately the local junkman - who roams the alley in a old red pickup chock-full o' old tires, barbed wire, and rusty bedframes - snatched it up before I could grab my normally ever-present camera. He picked it up and put it *on top* of the already-groaning 6-foot-high pile of junk in the truck bed that heaves precariously over every speed bump in the alley.

The junkman made quite the find that morning: that bidet was probably worth its weight in gold, or at least domestic Wagyu steaks. These babies retail for over $500.00 apiece. That's almost as much as a government-issue toilet seat*.

Edgewater neighbors: if you see the junkman's red pickup, run, don't walk! Before the tan bidet falls off and lands on your car/head/dog/baby stroller.

* Correction: according to Wikipedia, 'President Reagan held a televised news conference in 1987, where he held up one of these shrouds and stated: "We didn't buy any $600 toilet seat. We bought a $600 molded plastic cover for the entire toilet system." '

Labels: chicago, humor, toilets

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