1. Earworms; especially those hatched from old Steely Dan or Duran Duran songs.
2. The Yebeg Tibs Watt I had for dinner.
3. Is Black Sigatoka fungus the reason we have no bananas in the house?
4. Our dog Sammy's flatulence after consuming an entire roast beef Nylabone™ (no relation to #2). "Organic!" plus "wholesome!" does not equal "odorless!"
5. Toasti Toes™ (see picture). It's like a David Lynch film: you know Super Mario the lumberjack and his axe are somehow responsible for those dismembered toes appearing in a toaster. "With Adhesive!" All the better to stick to your ribs, dearie! And why the hell is that rabbit skiing?
6. "Kenmore's on fire again!" Why do all the fire engines take a short cut down our peaceful street at night?
7. The concept of a Vice President named Huckabee.
8. Our upstairs neighbor moving furniture at 2:00am, because stylish interior design waits for no man (or woman).
9. The effect of Daylight Savings Time versus Earth's rotation slowing down.
   
10. Eliot Spitzer Admits Involvement in Prostitution Ring: was he bolstering NY's budget by running one? Then yes. Patronizing one? Meh; not so much.

Labels: humor, politics, soapbox