I simply can't resist passing on some of the odd search strings that brought people to farkleberries this year. By far the most popular - *sigh* - are various permutations of "Febreze Scent Stories." This is what bloggers like me get for writing one random rant about a pointless consumer gadget; if you came here looking to buy one of those stink-phonographs, or to gawk at photos of Shania Twain, then I'm sorry - you'll be sadly disappointed, because neither are mine to offer you. On the other hand, if you came looking for (ahem):

sushi powerpoint ugly worms (?)
Mr. Brain's pork faggots (they're actually a liver-based English meatball, but the mrbrainsfaggots.com domain no longer belongs to Hibernia foods, unfortunately. Try it yourself and see - but not if you're at work. Apparently the name provokes a wee bit of humour)
Midgets and Roman flavored candy
1970s pimp and ho costumes
mystery weekend train trips near Chicago
evil tollbooth operators
normal-looking odd underneath cockney
really hot Chicago polish girls (no hot Polish girls here. By chance, did you mean Polish grills?)
underwater hydrogen bomb indian ocean Tsunamis (always a conspiracy theorist somewhere!)
hot asian guy escort in chicago (can't help ya there, bud. Check the Windy City Times or the Reader)
catherine deneuve fanfiction
fun-shui front door lamp post (a more humorous version of feng shui?)
horn honking classical music german man in orange suit
most unusual ice cream in chicago
consumption patterns of halloween punch (by the German man in the orange suit?)
soy spray foam insulation stink
committing someone to a mental hospital in Illinois
penis enlargement crew (guys, if they come to your door - run!!)
male striper in door 21 in chicago
apocalypse now .wav that smell
does smoking confounds the relationship between outdoor work and risk of lip cancer
offal intestine cleaner

...then baby, this is the blog for you. Happy New Year, everyone!

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