Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Football and Moral Values, Again 
by Lenka Reznicek [permalink] 
Has NFL football become a major new corrupting influence on America?
[SI.com] The network's steamy intro to the Philadelphia-Dallas game, featuring a naked Nicollette Sheridan jumping into the arms of Eagles receiver Terrell Owens, drew complaints from viewers and the NFL...ABC Sports apologized Tuesday for the segment, used a day earlier to promote the hit show Desperate Housewives and broadcast just nine months after another football flap -- the Janet Jackson Super Bowl fiasco.

The spot showed Owens and Sheridan in an empty locker room, with Sheridan wearing only a towel and provocatively asking Owens to skip the game for her. After she dropped her towel, he smiled, agreed to be late for the contest and she jumped into his arms. Sheridan was shown only from behind and above the waist after she dropped the towel.

The NFL called the intro "inappropriate and unsuitable for our Monday Night Football audience." ABC has broadcast Monday Night Football with a 5-second delay this season, a precaution after Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at February's Super Bowl.
Then again - maybe I just don't get out enough - but in what universe is...ahem...feminine pulchritude considered "unsuitable for [the] Monday Night Football audience"? Who wrote that with a straight face? Does anyone even remember the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders? Let's be realistic: pigskin and cheesecake have a long mutual history.

Frankly, I think the TV execs are more concerned about the skit's implication Owens was about to - as Grandpa Simpson would say, have seccccchssss - than over flashed flesh. In which case, they should be getting down on their knees and flagellating themselves for most of their prime-time shows.
Oh, Satan is an evil charmer,
(Shut de do, keep out de debbil)
He's hungry for a soul to hurt,
(Shut de do, keep de debbil in the night)
And without your holy armor,
(Shut de do, keep out de debbil)
He will eat you for dessert.
(Shut de do, keep de debbil in the night)
-- Randy Stonehill, Shut De Do'
Side Note: how long until "wardrobe malfunction" is added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary's new words? It'll be in good company, joining this year's debutees like body wrap, clafouti [clafouti? really? why?], darmstadtium, dreamcatcher, menudo [the dish, not the band], and MP3.