This is Snoë, named after a friend's black cat, Noë, who looked just like an eggplant: sleek, black and pear-shaped. She is neither black nor very sleek, but she is pear-shaped, and extremely strong and musclebound.

She's not just chunky - it actually takes two people to get her into a Pet Taxi for trips to the vet. She bears a striking resemblance to Hello Kitty™, but don't let that fool you...she's closer to Hell Kitty™, but we love her anyway. She was shy and skittish when we first adopted her a few months ago her from Catnap From The Heart, a no-kill shelter in Lagrange Park, IL, but she's becoming much more relaxed and affectionate. She's probably 7 or 8 years old.

She was discovered in the winter in an abandoned house without food or water. At first, they though she was a grey cat, but a bath proved otherwise: all cats are grey in dusty tenements. She enjoyed sitting at the front desk of Catnap From The Heart, so we sometimes call her the Office Cat. She also sleeps at our feet on the bed every night.

Jezebel was also adopted from CNFTH. She's somewhere between two and four years old - a 9-and-a-half-pound tortoiseshell calico, very sweet and affectionate, with a fondness for running showers and gourmet food: she is the only one of our cats that loves freshly cooked meats, fish, crispy chips, cream cheese and dairy. You wouldn't know it from her cover girl physique, but she's a junk food junkie.

Now, you needn't tell us how bad it is to give cats greasy, caloric people-food: we save it as an occasional treat. After all, how can you say "no" to that face? When she was found by CNFTH, she had four kittens in tow, each a different color, so the shelter named her after the woman in the Bible. I'm not entirely certain how that applies, but I think it has something to do with the fact she was supposedly a reformed harlot.

This is Nathaniel, adopted about three years ago from Harmony House for Cats, another excellent no-kill shelter here in the Chicago area.

We're not sure how old Nathaniel is, but our vet tells us he may be pushing 20. Yes, twenty. He's a tough old bird, hyperthyroidism and inflammatory bowel disease notwithstanding. Despite his chronic health problems, he's a delightful, talkative and personable cat (we've been told he's probably a melanistic - Black - Siamese) with a regal air, the Man of the House with a taste for kitty treats and Thai tuna fish from Trader Joe's™.

We have had entire call-and-response conversations with Nathaniel, consisting of endless varations of growls, purrs, meows, grunts and squeals. Now, if only we knew what he was saying. We do know there is a particular meow he uses to ask for canned food at 6:00 in the morning, and another to let us know there is poop in the litter box that he would like removed as soon as possible, thank you very much.

As a side note, a large yellow front-end loader (which is working on a new condo going up across the strret from me) has been circling the neighborhood for the past hour looking for parking. Just thought you might like to know. Seriously, it's on loop number 7. By the way, if you're the front end loader driver, and you read this, may I suggest trying Kenmore Avenue? I think you can usually find a spot there on a Friday night. Maybe in front of Ken Nordine's place, where all the brightly colored escaped parrots like to hang out in the linden trees. Besides, all the folks are downtown partying, and no one will notice if you park there.

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