Introducing the coffee flavored steak!

It's fresh from Washington, the state that introduced America to both gourmet java and mad cow disease. The Seattle Signature Steak™ is gently rubbed with finely ground Starbucks™ coffee before being grilled - c'mon, why worry about bovine spongiform encephalopathy when you have the brain-boosting power of caffeine?

After you've savored its subtly stimulating smokiness, come home to your new Archie McPhee Meat Shower Curtain and wash away that nagging prion-induced fuzz. Then, inhale the fleshy perfume of the unique Meat Air Freshener!

But whatever you do, don't try this creative stunt: a scam artist in Germany unsuccessfully tried to return (for the second time in a row, at the same retailer) an empty computer tower filled with potatoes for a refund, claiming he was sold defective product.

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