Wednesday, April 09, 2003
by Lenka Reznicek [permalink] 
A Big One from the Spambox

Recently I spouted off about a ridiculous spam e-mail I received promising "doctor-recommended permanent larger erections," among other benefits. Oddly enough, a few days after I made that post, I began to receive the exact same spam message (each time from a slightly altered bogus sender address) about ten to twelve times per day, filtered directly into my Junk folder.

I found that a strange coincidence.

Well, it seems the Penis Enlargement Crew has gotten more creative, since the simple four-line text message didn't garner any click-throughs from my e-mail address. Nonetheless, I won't give them the satisfaction of an "unsubscribe me" message, which would no doubt siphon a thousand other useless pieces of electron waste in my direction.

Now they've begun sending a spam message with - yes, gasp - "actual unretouched before-and-after photos" of the results! For obvious reasons, I won't include the pictures, but those entrepreneurial spammers should realize any 10-year old with Adobe Photoshop(TM) (or even MS Paint for that matter) can doctor an image of a miniscule male member to look like a donkey's d...I mean, apparatus (or was that Milton Berle? I've heard the "Hollywood Babylon" rumors).

Pretty silly stuff, if you ask me.

Anyway, I suppose the universe is essentially fair, since I don't seem to see too many breast enlargement ads around anymore; either in the Spambox, or anywhere else for that matter. Could it be that emaciated supermodel heroin chic has finally caught on, and a woman can finally feel adequate with less-than-spectacular mammary endowments? Could be, at least in above-ground culture; I'm sure the SuperJugs Cult still thrives among the backroom webcam video viewer set and elsewhere. Like Cosmopolitan magazine.

I can rest easy now, knowing that somewhere in the world a man is probably receiving tons of spam telling him he can enlarge his bust size up to 300% safely, without hormones, pills, messy creams or boring exercises. Money back guaranteed.

Yes, the universe must surely be fair.