Strange Fruit

Just when you think the news around the world can't get any stranger: 'smelly fruit triggers airline alert in Sydney, Australia (CNN 1/16/03)' Apparently, someone noticed a strange odor coming from the plane's luggage compartment on a Virgin Blue flight to Brisbane. All alarmed airline security found was an exotic Asian fruit called a durian in someone's luggage, covered with a white powder that turned out to be carpet deodorizer: not enough to mute the stench of a delicacy that's said to "taste like heaven, smell like hell."

Virgin Airlines spokesman Brett Godfrey denied the airline overreacted. "I don't think in this climate we can be overzealous," he told reporters in Sydney. He added that passenger security was not the only thing at stake. "This wasn't a safety issue, this was a 'gross' issue -- no one wants to fly in an airplane that smells like that," he said. He compared the smell of the gourmet fruit to "something you'd find in your outdoor dunny [toilet]" adding that "it just is the most pungent, disgusting smell. I actually walked out onto the tarmac and I could smell it from 50 feet away, it's not pretty," he said.

I've seen durians at the local Asian grocery occasionally, but I don't know that they smell all that bad. They ain't lilies-of-the-valley, but compared to open buckets of fermented fish paste the smell is nothing. Perhaps they're dipped in something like wax or shellac to cut down on the fruit-funk. I mean, they have to get here somehow, how do they get them into the country ?

"Scotty, those durians we requested are in the transporter room. Beam them down when ready"
"By Georrge, Captain! They smell like a Klingon outhouse on a hot summerrs day!"

I mean, if you can sell limburger, why not durians? Then there's the question of why nature gave durians such a potent aroma. Perhaps...so hungry creatures like us might stay away for them? Humans, we just can't take a hint. We'll eat limburger, garlic, spoiled fruit juice and fermented wet bread (how do you think we invented wine and beer?) - so, it's no surprise we'll eat a stinker that airline security guards can smell from 50 feet away.

The Smithsonian archives have an interesting little picture: in Singapore, durians are banned in the subway. Next time they're in season, I should buy one at the Asian grocery. They're not cheap, at about $1.99/lb. for the average 10-pound fresh durian. The less-ambitious can purchase frozen durian pulp or durian ice cream in one-pint tubs, or durian-flavored candy from the Philippines.

I should try taking one on the subway here in Chicago on a hot summer's day. It'll guarantee I get a seat - if not the whole train car - to myself.

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